"You've
learned all you need to know, Chance. Now all you need to learn is how to say
goodbye." - Shadow, Homeward
Bound
I have no idea what my last words were to my grandpa, my dad's step-dad. Probably something along the lines of a cheerful "See you later, Gramps!" If that is indeed what they were, it's a promise I was never able to fulfill. He died rather suddenly when I was in high school and that was it.
Few goodbye's, I've learned, are perfect. Most are yelled as we rush out the door, with maybe a quick hug thrown in for good measure. For longer separations there are more tears, and then a quick sprint through TSA security. Many involve a never fulfilled promise to see each other again. (I'm looking at you, college graduation.) I've said a lot of goodbyes - I'll say a lot more - and the truth is, I'll never know which ones are for forever and which ones truly are "see you laters."
In some ways, it doesn't really matter. Because life is unpredictable, and there's no way of telling what will happen in-between a goodbye and that next planned meeting. We know this intellectually of course, but we suppress it because to live with that constantly at the front of our minds would be a crushing burden emotionally.
But maybe it's time we started living with that knowledge just a little more in view. Now I'm not suggesting we turn each and every goodbye into a tear jerking moment wherein we mourn our parting and contemplate the temporal nature of life (http://3d.xkcd.com/791/), but I know that personally I've too often take for granted the time I have with people.
So much is made of how we say goodbye, but I think maybe that focus is misplaced. The quality of the time spent with those we care about is so much more important than a hurried parting. I might not get the perfect "goodbye moment" with everyone, but I can have a goodbye without regrets. I haven't learned how to say goodbye, but I have learned that if I value time and people like I should, maybe saying goodbye isn't quite as big a deal as I thought it was.
